Today is the first day since Wednesday that I have felt somewhat normal. My energy levels are increasing and my appetite is slowly coming back. I had no idea what chemo was going to be like when I had started it, but it has not been fun! For the first three days all I did was stay in bed. I would get up for maybe a half hour at a time and then head right back to bed. I think my eyes were closed for nearly three days as I kept them closed so I could focus on not being sick. My sense of smell has radically changed and so now I have to be carful or certain smells will affect me. Each day I have tried to push myself by trying to do a little more and staying up. I have been successful with eating plain soup and toast, along with my juices. Jamie made a yummy turkey dinner in Friday evening and I did a pretty good job eating. Yesterday and today have been better. I have been able to eat more and I even did a little work today. I hope in the next few days I will be back to normal, just in time to do it all over again. I am so grateful for my loving, supportive, wife. She has been amazing. Also, I am fortunate to have a very committed family and group of friends walking this out with us. I am off of treatments this week and will resume on Wednesday, October 7. Keep praying! Thanks!
I can’t believe I am here. Is this even real? Chemo day! I am not looking forward to this. I have heard many stories about chemo, some good and some I wish I never heard. I arrived on floor 3 of the cancer clinic just in time to be taken back to the room I will be spending the next 3-4 hours. There are a few other people here getting their treatments, but overall it is pretty quiet here. Carol is the nurse assigned to me. She is quite nice and very helpful. After taking my seat and having everything explained to me, it is time! Nurse Carol takes my blood pressure and begins the IV. Everything seems to be going well until about half way through the treatment and I start to feel light headed. The next thing you know I am face down in a bowl. I’ll save you all the details, but let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. The nausea feeling lasted the remaining time at the clinic and even followed me home. I returned home and was welcomed by my amazing family. Their love and support gives my strength and motivation to forge ahead. I’m looking forward to the rest of this process, but I am determined to fight for my life.
It felt like today would never come. I have been waiting to have my port installed for nearly month and today was the day. I woke up today feeling a little nervous but that quickly subsided after spending some time in my favourite reading chair. My appointment was for 12PM but I needed to be there for 11AM so they could prep me for the half hour procedure. The staff at the Abbotsford Hospital were great. Very helpful and kept the mood light and relaxed. I felt at peace laying on the bed waiting for my procedure. I kept reminding myself of my wife and kids and all the incredible people we have in our lives who are fighting on our behalf. I am blown away everyday by the love and support we are shown. After waiting about 45 minutes it was time for me to be wheeled into the operating room. I arrived to a few nurses and the surgeon preparing for my arrival. When I got there I was welcomed and informed about what exactly was about to happen. I had total peace throughout the whole process and after the 30 minute procedure I was wheeled back into the recovery room. I was told I was out for about a half hour. When I awoke, I felt great. My head didn’t feel weird from the medications they gave me, my body didn’t hurt and overall I felt great! I stayed in the recovery room for about an hour and then it was time to go home. After leaving the hospital today, I feel hopeful. I don’t know exactly how my body will handle the chemo tomorrow but I am not going to worry about that because I have the God of comfort on my side. Here we go…
It’s been a few days since I last wrote anything. To be honest, I haven’t felt motivated to write anything the past few days. I have had my good days and my not so good days. All I want is for this nightmare to be over. It still feels like everything we are going through isn’t real. I keep looking over my shoulder thinking that someone is going to come out from behind a curtain or a wall and say, ‘just kidding, you don’t have cancer.’ Unfortunately, it hasn’t happen yet. This week is a very busy and important one. River starts pre school today, I have a IV treatment later this morning and tomorrow I have my port installed. Overall, I am feeling pretty good about everything, but there are times when everything is quiet I start thinking about things that I shouldn’t or that are outside of my control. It is a daily battle to remain positive, but a battle I am willing to fight. I am not too sure when chemo will begin, but I think it may be this week. There is a lot to plan and organize as my treatments begin. Getting to and from treatments, getting our kids to school and back home, making lunches, speaking engagements, work and everything else. It is going to be a crazy next 6 months, but we are up for the challenge.
Someone pass me a pillow – STAT, because I just want to scream! We just got back from my appointment to find out the results of my PET scan. The news wasn’t what we were hoping for. We knew that the cancer was in my colon and my liver, but now they are confirming that it has moved into my lungs. There are approximately 15 spots on my lungs and the doctor tells us at least 3 of the spots ‘light up’ for cancer. It feels like someone just kicked me right in the stomach. My head is spinning and all I want to do is find a pillow and scream as loud as I can into it. It obviously won’t change the situation, but I am sure I would feel a lot better after getting a few things off my chest. They have moved up the dates for my ‘port’ to be installed and when my chemo will begin. A port is inserted in your chest during a short outpatient surgery. It is a small disc made of plastic or metal about the size of a quarter that sits just under the skin. A soft thin tube called a catheter connects the port to a large vein. Your chemotherapy medicines are given through a special needle that fits right into the port. You also can have blood drawn through the port. When all your cycles of chemotherapy are done, the port is removed during another short outpatient procedure. This procedure takes place next Tuesday afternoon and then my chemo will begin a day or two later. As we were leaving the hospital, my mind was racing with all the interruptions that are about to come our way. For the next few months, I will be spending 4 out of 7 days in a clinic getting treatments. I am not looking forward to this, but I remain optimistic about the bigger picture at work behind the scenes. I don’t know why certain things happen to certain people, but the reality is, it’s none of my business. This is my story and I am sticking with it. I hope that through this season in our lives we can be an encouragement and support to those who are walking through difficult times right now. My hope and prayer through this all is that I will be healed and that God would be glorified. At the end of the day, God is still God and God is still good.